


All His Own

by mansikka



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Implied Relationships, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, POV Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:40:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27642881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Sam and Dean take one last drive before going their separate ways to meet Eileen and Cas.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 18
Kudos: 153
Collections: SPN Finale "Destiel is CANON" Collection





	All His Own

**Author's Note:**

> So, like many of you, I left this show behind a while ago. And, like many of you, I got lured back by 15x18. And then... the finale happened. Or, it didn't! 🙉🙈🙊 I'm just going to ignore canon entirely because that isn't the ending I'd have wanted for any of them. Really did not picture myself (or a lot of us) writing Destiel in 2020 but hey, this might as well happen.
> 
> No matter what happens in canon, fanon lives on. So if all of us are now inspired to write a thousand fix-its each, well, that's good for us. They can't take these characters away from us, no matter what they've done. Love and hugs to you all ❤️️

The lull of tire on road, the rush of wind against his face through the open window; these feelings are as comforting to Dean as any home. Sam is beside him, as he always has been, as he always will be. A thousand miles apart or only with this gap on the seat between them wouldn't make any difference. These past few years have taught him that, slowly, allowing Dean to imagine a life out there in the world on his own.

He wants it. He wants love, and peace, and sleeping in all morning, a night spent under a starry sky, and something other than hunting to think about. Dean wants time, for everything and nothing, to look through the news just for something to do instead of for the next job. He wants work, too, something simple, something honest, which is not to say the life of a hunter isn't an honest one at its core. Isn't there something honorable in fighting to protect others, in sacrificing over and over to make sure whatever bad is gone? Dean knows there is. He also knows that life is behind him. There's just one more thing he needs before what he dreams of can be a reality.

Sam turns his head; Dean feels it without even looking for it, smiling and knowing the moment his smile is returned. He could put on music, start up an endless conversation about everything they've been through and the monumental task that's just been completed. They won't, because if there is one thing that underwrites everything they are, it's that there is so much they can say to one another without saying a word out loud. Without too many words, anyway.

"You want me to come with?"

Shaking his head for Sam's question, Dean drums his thumbs against the steering wheel while still looking straight ahead. "You've got somewhere you need to be, too."

"I do," Sam agrees, stretching. In comfort for once; not rolling his neck for sleeping at a bad angle, or testing aching limbs after another endless fight. Sam is at peace too, and Dean can thrive on knowing that with certainty now. For the first time in their lives, their future is open. With faith, Dean is confident everything is going to turn out right.

"So. Am I dropping you somewhere?"

Sam doesn't say anything at first, though then nods to a sign. "There."

"The bus station? You'd prefer to sit on a Greyhound for hours instead of—"

"I think it's time, Dean. You do, too. Otherwise, we wouldn't be out here like this."

What can Dean say to that? There is only truth to Sam's words. The bunker will forever be a home for them, but it won't be the only one they'll ever know. His and Sam's next homes won't even be ones that they share.

"Check in when you get to her," Dean says instead of anything else, already picturing Eileen's smile and the way Sam's entire posture will shift just for seeing her. Dean's heart swells just for imagining it, for knowing when he sees them both next, there won't be anything to part them again.

"You too. You thought about where to look for him?"

There is a tug in Dean's stomach better than any compass or GPS. Instinct is telling Dean exactly where he'll find him, even if the exact location isn't yet clear in his thoughts.

"I think so," Dean says anyway, for once not needing to do anything but trust. He just needs to get to him, and despite knowing there are words to rehearse on the way, Dean already knows exactly how his and Cas' conversation will work out.

"Good."

By his side, Sam turns and reaches into the back seat, pulling a tablet from an old, scuffed bag. Out the corner of his eye, Dean watches whatever he is doing on the screen, waiting for him to speak as Sam zips the bag up again.

"I transferred money to our cards. Split what we had left. We still have some, some other places, but for now, at least, we have enough."

So their new lives won't be entirely free from their history, their mastery of fraud and forgery funding whatever lies ahead. Dean won't know guilt for it. Their retirement plan isn't exactly conventional, but if this is the only way they'll get thanks for all they've been through, Dean is good with it. For now, at least.

"Thanks. You sure you don't just wanna get a car?"

"I'm good. When I get there, I will. Probably. I don't know yet. I don't know anything about tomorrow. Isn't that incredible?" Sam adds, and Dean has to turn his head to catch his smile. It's euphoric, a look that he's not seen on his brother's face in a while. Maybe ever. He likes it a lot.

"Yeah. It is."

Their goodbye at the bus station isn't really a goodbye, more of a see you around, see you soon. Like a conversation that starts and stops without ever being over, picked up after long pauses and time apart; this is who they are now. Who they will be. Their lives intrinsically tied and for once to be lived apart. Dean drives away from the station watching Sam already disappearing in the rearview, excited for his future as much as he is for his own. Which isn't to say nerves don't kick in when all that silence in the Impala roars louder for having no company. What are the exact right words for him to say to Cas?

Because he is free to now, Dean plays over so many moments in their history, all those almosts and near misses, and knows only happiness in his heart. They have lost, and they have loved one another, even with never saying the words out loud. They get to now, they get to have everything. They can love one another and be all the things for each other that will bring more comfort and stability than either has ever known. Isn't that something? It's terrifying and exhilarating, and if this new peace in his heart hadn't taught Dean restraint then he would be speeding down the highway, instead of driving at this more leisurely pace. Timing is everything here; Dean doesn't know how he knows but also does, that he will find Cas exactly when he is supposed to.

He loves him. Cas loves him. Dean grins for the knowledge of it even if he's known it anyway, some deep, rumbling thing that steered his course whether he was ready to acknowledge it or not. How Cas hasn't realized he loves him back, that he somehow thinks his love is unrequited, Dean doesn't know. Dean will taunt and tease him about it for the rest of their lives together, just as much as he will show Cas just how much he is loved. How has he not felt it in his touch? How has he not heard it in all his prayers? Have all his efforts to push Cas away as well as pull him closer only confused all the signals Dean's been sending all these years? Probably. All Dean knows for sure, is that he loves him, he loves Cas, and Cas loves him; that's all he needs in his world right now. Cas.

Dean drives for hours, stopping only for something to eat, chasing the last light of the day until his is the only car for miles. Cas is with him already, even though he isn't, his snark from the back seat and his smile from beside him when he changes music without even asking. Cas is in bad jokes, and terrible puns, and even in quoting movies that Dean has inflicted on him over the years. Cas loves him, tolerating all the things Dean loves just to be near him, happy to sit in silence just so Dean hasn't been alone. These next years ahead, Dean is returning the favor, learning all of the things that make Cas happy so he too can keep him in quiet company when Cas needs all the world to stop. Not that he'll need that now, Dean is determined. Their future is going to be a happy one, joy-filled and with only the difficulties that regular people have to overcome. No vampires. No werewolves. No catastrophes raining down on them from some deity above. They'll deal with blocked drains and mornings before coffee, argue over whose turn it is for mowing lawns and taking out the trash. They'll make friends, whose own lives have always been simple ones, who won't know that their world is safe because of them. Just how it should be. A normal life. The biggest adventure of them all. Dean needs to sleep but is so excited for the thought is sure it's impossible to.

At dawn, fuelled only by bad coffee and a candy bar he found in the trunk, Dean watches the sun glint off something in the distance and feels as though his soul has been realigned. White noise fills his ears, the urge to speed up wins pushing his foot against the pedal and his heart against his throat. Last minute words air their final rehearsal, even if Dean's now convinced he won't need to say much of anything at all.

Cas. He's here. Stood by the side of the road with his hands in his trenchcoat pockets and a smile of certainty on his face Dean knows is echoed on his own. Dean's stomach is in knots as he pulls over, out of the car in seconds not even sure if he's put the brake on.

Cas turns to him, and though there are now only paces between them Dean's knees convince him he's been walking for miles. With a trembling breath and shaking limbs, he steps forward, his heart hammering away as Cas does the same.

He's in touching distance. Cas. The one who has saved him over and over again, given Dean purpose and strength when he'd thought he'd had none. And he's loved him, for all this time, without ever asking for anything in return. Is it any wonder in these final moments of being alone, that Dean is overwhelmed by the gravity of knowing he won't ever be again? He doesn't think so.

As he stumbles the last step he needs to reach him, all Dean can think about is how he's home. He curls his fingers around the lapels of Cas' trenchcoat with his heart soaring for the love written across his face, jubilant for the tiny tilt of chin and raised eyebrow that says, well? What are you waiting for?

He knows. Cas has to know now, surely, after all of this, how much it is that he's loved?

"You're back," Dean says, with his voice cracking, sure any words he's planned out are now leaving him to it, abandoning him to figure this out on his own.

"Yes."

"You're really here."

"Yes. I am."

"You're here," Dean says again, and because the world is spinning as it rights itself, rests his forehead against Cas' for balance. He gasps in a breath for the soft press of hands to his sides, sure nothing has ever felt so right.

"Of course. Where else would I go?"

Dean closes his eyes, releases his grip on one lapel to cradle Cas' face. Stubble against the heel of his hand is grounding, and terrifying. Cas has to know. He has to tell him. There is no other way for them to be now.

"You know I love you too, right?" Dean says softly for his voice cracking, swallowing hard as he forces himself to raise his head again and open his eyes.

Cas' smile settles all the racing in Dean's head and heart. He nods, though doesn't answer, patient as he always is with him.

"I love you, Cas. Have done, for years. I just didn't know how to say it. How to feel it. Have it."

"And you do now?" Cas asks, with one final hint of doubt in his eyes. Dean won't have him doubt anything again.

"Yeah," he says, with a brush of his lips over Cas' that is like lightning, making everything in him more alive than he has ever known. "Yeah. I do."

That doubt leaves Cas' eyes, leaving them crinkled in the corners instead. Dean loves it. Dean loves him. So he tells him again, right as he claims their first kiss, feeling the curve of Cas' lips against his own. This, this is worth everything, all the things they've been through and all the losses they've overcome. Finally, they have a win, and this one? This is all Dean's own.


End file.
